Before I get into She Who Is Unworthy, let’s just take a moment and enjoy Meryl Streep. Meryl was out last night with her little buddy Amy Adams, attending a screening of Julie & Julia. Meryl donned a comfortable-looking red dress that I actually like, but I’m not too thrilled with her hair. Still, she’s Meryl F-cking Streep, and I doubt she cares what I think about her hair. Julie & Julia comes out next weekend – it’s the film where Meryl takes on yet another great role – that of the first lady of chefs, Julia Child. Reviews are already coming in for the film, and while most are saying there are some weak points in the film, every critic agrees that Meryl shines yet again. Playing Julia Child will probably bring Meryl her SIXTEENTH Oscar nomination. Meryl has already blown through every record ever set by Hollywood actresses, and she’s still got dozens of great performances yet to come. Meryl is the queen.

Take it as a given that Meryl is the undisputed queen, the empress of all, the best of the best and then some. So what does that make Jessica Biel? Yeah, I thought so. Jessica gave an interview to the LA Times to promote her upcoming stage performance as Sarah Brown in Guys & Dolls. Sarah Brown is the role played by Jean Simmons in the film version, with Marlon Brando playing Sarah’s seducer, Sky Masterson. Honestly, I love the film, and you couldn’t pay me to watch Jessica Biel murder those lines and songs live.

Jessica’s doing what she does best – promoting herself through any means necessary. Which means referencing her struggles with her own beauty again, and then topping it off with career-comparisons to Cate Blanchett and Meryl Streep. Bitch, please.

Biel, 27, said it took her all that time to summon the courage to take her singing beyond the shower stall. “I’ve struggled a lot in the last five years or so with my own insecurities, having done some film,” she said recently. “Will I be accepted? Is my voice good enough? I think I finally feel confident enough to do it.”

“Her voice is silvery,” said Jay-Alexander, [director of Guys & Dolls]. “It glimmers, and the higher it goes, the more it shimmers. It’s a very interesting instrument.” And she’s been training for the role “like a triathlete in a decathlon,” working with a coach two hours a day for the last two months.

Biel hopes that the role of Sarah will confound an industry that often makes assumptions about the limits of beautiful women. Her concern about that has at times ricocheted awkwardly across the Internet, as it did in May when she told Allure magazine that she wants a career like Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman’s, but her beauty “really is a problem” in Hollywood and has cost her roles.

“I just don’t want to be in a box ever where anybody feels I can only do one thing, because it’s boring,” said Biel. “I feel I have a lot to explore and a lot to give and try and probably fail doing something, but I want the shot to do it.”

That probably won’t include performing with her longtime boyfriend, Justin Timberlake, at least for now. “I never thought about doing an album,” she said. “I’m more interested in incorporating music into film or onstage. I am his No. 1 fan when it comes to music, but we’re doing our own things.”

“The only destination I’m hoping for is longevity,” she said. “I want to be able to keep working until I’m 105 years old. I want the choice. It’s difficult for women in general in entertainment. They peak earlier and the men peak at 30, 40. It’s kind of scary. But you can’t tell Meryl Streep she can’t do a part. You can’t say to Cate Blanchett ‘I don’t believe her in that.’ They do anything they want because they have explored the range, which is endless for them. That’s what I want.”

[From Los Angeles Times]

And I want Gerard Butler naked in my bed. We all want something, Biel. Wanting to be as insanely talented, beautiful, successful and cool as Cate or Meryl is fine. I want to be like them too. But name-dropping them in an LA Times interview as if you’re on the same kind of career path? As if Cate Blanchett doesn’t have more talent in her pinkie than in Jessica’s whole “too beautiful” mess? As if the only thing coming between Jessica Biel being recognized as The Next Meryl Streep is a few casting directors who can’t see past Jessica’s “gorgeous” face? Give me a f-cking break.

Update by Celebitchy: Some people are understandably commenting that Jessica Biel did not bring up her ‘beauty’ in this article in the LA Times. The piece mentions that Biel did reference it again, without stating what she said specifically. They write “Biel hopes that the role of Sarah will confound an industry that often makes assumptions about the limits of beautiful women.” They then go on to quote her Allure article, and then Biel states that she wants to make sure she’s not pigeonholed “in a box ever where anybody feels I can only do one thing.” I think we can assume that she’s again talking about her beauty without making the outrageous comment that it gets in her way as she did in Allure.

Here’s Meryl Streep and Amy Adams at the Los Angeles Premiere of ‘Julie & Julia’ yesterday. Jessica is shown at Whole Foods on July 4th. Images thanks to WENN.com .