Some people think Jessica Simpson still looks good. Really? True story. I am not one of those people. Of course, I’m not going to rag on her weight – I don’t care about her weight. It’s her style that consistently pisses me off. Not just the bad clothes she wears, but the hair, the makeup, the vibe. If I didn’t know better, I would think Jessica is a 40-something Texas hooker. She wears too much makeup, the hair is always jacked, and her clothes are always too tight. Why does she always get it wrong on red carpets? Does she have no one in her life or her “team” that will just sit her down and tell her – “You look like hell. Don’t go out like that.” And does she have a mirror? Why doesn’t she look at herself and just say, “Actually, I don’t need this much makeup.” There’s something I’ve been feeling about Jessica for a while – she has drag queen style. Tragic, but true.

Meanwhile, we got sent this strange email from a dude named Alex Astilean who sued Jessica because she didn’t fulfill her contract to promote Speedfit, a workout video. Allegedly, Jessica showed up to the promotional shoot drunk, and then Astilean and Joe Simpson tangled in the press. Joe tried to get the video banned from release, and Jessica ended up getting sued. The dude said that she was “hurting the fat people of America” and later said that her weight gain was “karma”. He later lost the case in arbitration. Now he’s claiming that Jessica “lied under oath” in her deposition and he can prove it with some “smoking gun evidence”. I didn’t want to delve too deeply into this stuff, just because, at the end of the day, how difficult is it to catch Jessica in a lie? Did you see her on Oprah? She’s so dumb, it’s a wonder she can function in society.

Jessica on May 25, 2010, credit: WENN.