When I first read Jessica Simpson’s quote about her amniotic fluid, I swear I actually dry-heaved. Dear God… is she trying to be the grossest woman alive? Is that her thing? Because she might achieve it. Like, I don’t mind that she talks about burping and farting. Whatever, it’s kind of gross and silly, but I get that Jessica is all about burping and farting. Then she upped the ante with the confession that she rarely brushes her teeth – gross. Since we’re now faced with Preggo Jess, the TMI has just gotten overkill. While I found her “Swamp Ass” sweating story kind of charming, she quickly killed the charm by suffocating it with her enormous breasts. She started talking about her pregnant sex life and what it’s going to be like for her in the delivery room… I just can’t. If you have a weak stomach or a strong psychological gag reflex, don’t read this story:

Though her extra large baby bump may indicate otherwise, Jessica Simpson still has about four weeks to go before she gives birth.

Appearing on Jimmy Kimmel LIVE! Monday, the pregnant 31-year-old said she’s growing tired of her pregnancy curves. “I feel I have a bowling ball sitting on my hoohah!”

Simpson laughed. “Apparently I have a lot of amniotic fluid, so whenever my water breaks it will be like a fire hydrant!”

Simpson isn’t nervous about going into labor, though. “I’m ready to push!” she told host Jimmy Kimmel, 44.

Though Simpson and fiance Eric Johnson, 32, have temporarily put wedding plans on hold, the former NFL player “feels like my husband already,” the singer said. “We are just doing it a little bit backwards.”

The Fashion Star mentor appeared on the talk show just one day after her star-studded baby shower. “It was a Charlotte’s Web thing. We had a whole fair,” the Texas native said. “We had fried Oreos!”

Guests included mom Tina, sister Ashlee, and actresses Jessica Alba and Odette Annable. “Jessica received tons of gifts mostly wrapped in pink gift wrap and boxes,” a source tells Us Weekly. “There were several books, stuffed toys and clothes among other items.”

[From Us Weekly]

And she’s not even due for another four weeks or so. GAH! It was the amniotic thing that gave my stomach a turn this morning, but Bedhead was more disturbed by the reference to fried Oreos. Which, granted, sound disgusting too. I don’t want to get all Gisele on Jessica (heaven forbid), but I think Jessica is going to be in for a very rude awakening when she finally figures out how little the baby weighs and how much of her “baby weight” is actually fried Oreos and slutty brownies and Doritos and ham.

Here’s video of Jessica on Jimmy Kimmel:

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.